No card…No flowers…No box of chocolates! Nothing! Absolutely nothing! Not even a “Happy Valentine’s Day” sentiment. Nothing to mark this epitome of Hallmark holidays. Yet, something would have been nice and greatly appreciated. After all, I selected the perfect card for him AND purchased a collection of his favorite music.
Mind you, I’m a fairly practical person. I really am! I know I have a great man who loves me. Also, I truly don’t care about all the fripperies of a commercialized holiday. However, deep down, I’m still a romantic…a silly, hopeless romantic. I’m still a girl who hopes for the perfect Christmas, Valentine’s and birthday. It’s the dreamer in me. So imagine how gutted I feel when there is nothing. No outward, public sign that I am loved or cherished. The tears come pouring out, usually in secret. Out of his sight. I frantically dash them from my eyes when I hear him entering a room. God forbid I let him know how devastated I feel. I wouldn’t want him to think I’m a drama queen or something (like he hasn’t thought that already!). Instead I become judgemental and moody. Like that doesn’t give me away, right? I will snap and “bite” to constantly prove I’ve been wronged and unappreciated. And I don’t care who knows. I have no qualms about telling the world; or at least anyone who comes in contact with me. It’s childish really and so inappropriate.
Why then can’t I settle for what really matters? I have a wonderful man who loves me for me. Everyday of every year. I know he isn’t one for public or outward displays to prove his love. I should be content and secure in that knowledge alone. Guess that is something I still need to work on.
Oh, yeah! By the way, although I wasn’t presented with a card or flowers or a box of chocolate, I received the best non-Valentine imaginable…I was given a heart to heart cuddle…which lead to something even better. Not bad for a hopeless romantic after all.
Cerridwyn Tiponi's Musings & Meanderings 