Cerridwyn Tiponi's Musings & Meanderings

No card…No flowers…No box of chocolates!  Nothing!  Absolutely nothing!  Not even a “Happy Valentine’s Day” sentiment.  Nothing to mark this epitome of  Hallmark holidays.  Yet, something would have been nice and greatly appreciated.  After all, I selected the perfect card for him AND purchased a collection of his favorite music. 

Mind you, I’m a fairly practical person.  I really am!  I know I have a great man who loves me.  Also, I truly don’t care about all the fripperies of a commercialized holiday.  However, deep down, I’m still a romantic…a silly, hopeless romantic.  I’m still a girl who hopes for the perfect Christmas, Valentine’s and birthday.  It’s the dreamer in me.  So imagine how gutted I feel when there is nothing.  No outward, public sign that I am loved or cherished.  The tears come pouring out, usually in secret.  Out of his sight.  I frantically dash them from my eyes when I hear him entering a room.  God forbid I let him know how devastated I feel.  I wouldn’t want him to think I’m a drama queen or something (like he hasn’t thought that already!).  Instead I become judgemental and moody.  Like that doesn’t give me away, right?  I will snap and “bite” to constantly prove I’ve been wronged and unappreciated.  And I don’t care who knows.  I have no qualms about telling the world; or at least anyone who comes in contact with me.  It’s childish really and so inappropriate. 

Why then can’t I settle for what really matters?  I have a wonderful man who loves me for me.  Everyday of every year.  I know he isn’t one for public or outward displays to prove his love.  I should be content and secure in that knowledge alone.  Guess that is something I still need to work on.

Oh, yeah!  By the way, although I wasn’t presented with a card or flowers or a box of chocolate, I received the best non-Valentine imaginable…I was given a heart to heart cuddle…which lead to something even better.  Not bad for a hopeless romantic after all.